A few people have asked the grand 'ol question: Did you plan for twins?
For most people, because it is such a shocking question that is unexpected, we've said, "No, but we are very excited!" For a few, Sarah has responded with a simple question: How does one plan to have twins?
Responses have varied from "I don't know" to "More sex?" So I'm (Sarah) here, before school, bored, to end a few myths...
1. A person, or persons, cannot plan for twins. Twins are a shock to nearly all who find out they are carrying. Why "nearly all" and not "all?" Well, some expect twins. Some know that twins run in their family (or families). I've found nothing online to state that it has anything to do with the sperm donor, as twins are created by the egg splitting, or two eggs becoming fertilized.
2. Anyone in their right minds would not wish for twins. Don't get me wrong, twins are double the blessing of a singleton, but it takes a huge toll on the body and is risky. Twins are commonly born premature, thereby bringing health risks to the children. Twins can cause the mother to be to have more health risks, gain more weight, etc. If twins are found to share a placenta, they often don't get all their nutrients equally. Sometimes one twin sucks up all the goodness, and the second twin is much smaller, and not as healthy. Twins are at a risk for a thing called TTTS, which is explained better on this website (http://www.tttsfoundation.org/) - but I'll just say it ain't good.
3. Twins, and families of twins, love to be stared at, touched, etc. Nope. I belong to a twins forum and everyone that I've spoken to feels like a science experiment when they go out with their twins. It takes forever to do anything, because people stop the family; sometimes they don't stop them but they simply turn and stare like its some famous person. Families of twins are just like families without twins. They go to stores, they go out to eat, they enjoy life. Most people in general don't want to be stared at when they are out and about. I remember being a small small child, probably 4 or 5. I was sitting with my family at Friendlys for lunch, or dinner, maybe just ice cream. Anywho, I looked across the little aisle and there was a teenage girl with an oxygen tank and the tubes to her nose. I stared. I was curious and didn't know what was wrong with her - I'd never seen such a thing! I remember getting in trouble for staring, and looking back, I deserved to be told to stop. (I wasn't scolded, or yelled at, but I was told it wasn't nice to do and I shouldn't do it.) That girl wanted to be treated like anyone else in the restaurant, and she just wanted to enjoy the day out with her family. She deserved that; she didn't deserve being stared at. (Of course, we have to remember that when the starer is very young, its often because they don't know, and have to take that into account. When the starer is an adult, or approaches and starts to touch people, its not okay.)
I'm sure there are more myths out there to be busted (myth busters anyone?), but right now, before school, I'm unable to think of more. So please, understand what I am saying. Twins are AWESOME. People with twins feel very blessed with their fortune, and people expecting twins feel the same. The only thing I want you to remember when you leave this post is that asking a question "Did you plan for twins?" is often, if not always, not a good question to ask.
I can also say that we are not upset with anyone who has asked us this question, or similar questions. I just want to make sure you understand that multiples are risky. I am in good health and we are not at all concerned (and neither is the doctor) about my health or the health of our twins. They are so far very healthy, and we are doing everything we can to keep it that way. We are NOT at a risk for TTTS, since these lovely ones are fraternal, therefore having their own placentas. We feel extremely blessed and lucky to have the fortune of twins (and to have a supportive family/group of friends who is ready to embrace them!).
Enjoy your day!
2 comments:
I wasn't wondering if you guys planned for twins or not (I didn't think one could) but that was a very informative post. I had never heard of TTTS and such.
I was wondering if you were devising a system of tell who was who but since they are fraternal, I guess that won't be necessary :) (or will it?
btw, since we are on the topic, I know fraternal twins aren't identical but can fraternal twins can be semi identical? or more prone to be identical compared to non-twins? or are fraternal twins just two babies that just happen to be born around the same time?
Until we found out that we were having twins, we had never heard of TTTS either. It was only through reading that we found out.
There is a system to differentiate the babies into Baby A and Baby B (see earlier posts where they are "named" in photos). It goes by their location to your uterus (I think). But now that I've said that, I believe you meant AFTER birth. Fraternal twins can look very similar, there is no law about how different they should look or be. Identical twins have the same DNA - so they are always same gender, and then have same hair color, eye color, etc. Their differences come out in personality. Fraternal twins have different DNA - but could share many qualities, like gender, hair and eye color, etc. My understanding (and this could be wrong because I am definitely no expert) is that there are more noticeable differences and it is less common for fraternal twins to look identical. Less common, not impossible.
Fraternal twins are twins that are in two separate sacs, with two placentas. They are conceived at or around the same time (within hours, and not related to the amount of sex one has) and either fertilize two separate eggs - but sometimes the single fertilized egg splits (but I think thats identical twins only). So fraternal are conceived and thus born at the same time (not EXACTLY the same time, but within minutes, and occasionally hours)..
I just want to repeat that I am NOT an expert in twinology, and this is just my understanding from everything that I've read to date. :)
Thanks for the questions
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